Former Busted star Matt Willis struggled with addiction to drink and drugs throughout most of his adult life.
In an upcoming BBC documentary, the singer and bass guitarist detailed the "blackouts" he used to face as a result of his lifestyle.
He went on to explain how he became "manipulative" as he hid parts of his addiction from his wife, presenter Emma Willis.
The programme details Matt's struggle with recovery and looks into what helps him and others to stay clean.
Reflecting on being in the throes of addiction, he stated: "I was young, and I was always the one taking it way further than I should have."
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He continued: "The number of blackout moments I had even up to the age of 20 was huge."
Speaking to Radio Times, he went on to recall a moment he appeared on Jonathan Ross' chatshow when he was younger.
He admitted: "That was hardest for me to watch. because I’m looking at myself and I’m 20 years old or something and I’m obviously off my face."
"It wasn’t glamorous, it was really sad," he told the publication.
Speaking about a diary in which Emma used to keep a daily record of her husband's alcohol use, Matt explained: "That’s only what she saw — I was doing a lot more in the background, because addicts are very good at hiding everything.
"I'm yet to meet a stupid addict. They’re conniving and manipulative."
The 40-year-old explores what's behind his addiction and whether or not science can offer hope against strong compulsions in his new programme which airs next week.
The Voice star Emma also details the impact Matt's addiction had on her as she emotionally recalls moments she feared for his life.
She also admits to holding on to a big concern that he could relapse once again.
In 2017, Matt relapsed after being sober when he took cocaine while on a reunion tour.
Matt Willis: Fighting Addiction airs on Wednesday, May 17 at 9pm.
