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Stranded On Honeymoon Island (BBC1)
When weddings are treated by our national broadcaster as a game show novelty, is it surprising that more than 40 per cent of UK marriages now end in divorce?
Stranded On Honeymoon Island calls itself a 'social experiment'. But it is something more insidious than that - a toxic slice of fruit cake and marzipan, served up with swathes of fake promises and plastic emotion.
The format makes a mockery of marital vows, with the wedding ceremony reduced to a party game, a bit of holiday fun. We've seen this before, in shows such as Married At First Sight [MAFS to its Gen Z fans], which pairs off complete strangers at the altar. But nothing this tasteless or shallow has been commissioned for the BBC before.
Honeymoon Island, based on a Danish original, is made by the same production company as MAFS. Not a shred of it is real - everything is hollow and manipulated, making a spectacle of its participants and fools of its viewers.
At the beginning of this 12-part series, which continues tonight and tomorrow, a couple of dozen publicity-hungry players mingle at a speed-dating event in London, presented by Davina McCall. 'I've never done a speed date before because I always think they're, like, murderers,' claimed one woman, in an aside that (like much of the dialogue) sounded scripted.
After the initial meetings, producers pick people to be paired off in couples, but none of the spouses discovers who they'll be marrying until they're standing in front of the celebrant. The Moonies used to arrange mass weddings the same way, but at least they had the excuse of being a mad religious cult.
A woman called Wenly performs the ceremonies, adding the romantic words, 'This marriage is not legally binding'. What a wonderfully romantic start to the rest of their lives. The couples then take a boat ride to a deserted beach, jumping fully clothed into the sea because someone in a Danish production office no doubt thought it would be hilarious if they literally 'took the plunge'.
After that, the newlyweds have to fend for themselves, building a fire and trying t survive on a Robinson Crusoe island inhabited by no one except a film crew. It's a shoddy identikit format constructed from bits of other shows, a sort of First Dates where Fred Sirieix has been replaced by Bear Grylls.
If this were some desperate attempt to drum up subscribers on a third-rate streaming service, it would be tacky.
The idea that it's state-funded by the licence fee is an insult to all of us. Promoting marriage as an I'm A Celebrity challenge, like swimming in maggots, is a wretched misuse of everybody's money.
The BBC used to be the envy of the world, producing polished gems. Now, it's peddling dross that isn't even costume jewellery.