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Alright, let's just get a couple of things straight from the off. To start with, I have no problem with coarse or crude language, in the appropriate setting and time. If it was good enough for Shakespeare, it's good enough for me. One judiciously placed four-letter word can speak paragraphs. Secondly, I am a passionate believer in free speech. I'd always rather see that particular envelope pushed and strained to tearing point, and boundaries questioned and challenged, than a timid safety-first retreat behind the red lines into fearful prudence and overcaution.
So why was I so uncomfortable this week with some of the anti-Trump protests? Because I was. Uncomfortable, and embarrassed. More than a few home-made cardboard placards being waved around during demonstrations against the US president's state visit were borderline obscene. Certainly far too graphic to show on TV news bulletins.
On Good Morning Britain, we had to check and re-check footage of the protests in Windsor and London to make sure we'd edited out the more explicit, not to say indecent, slogans. (Which caused me to ponder the point of them: if they were too profane to feature in mainstream media, weren't they self-censoring?).
But it wasn't just the X-rated messages. Underlying much of the anti-Trump imagery and rhetoric was a deeply personal hostility that, again, seemed to me to cross a line. “Hope you choke to death on your dinner”, read one placard being waved outside Tuesday night's state banquet at Windsor Castle. Really? Had the protester ever actually seen a fellow human choking to death? I have. It's a deeply, deeply distressing sight.
There seemed little attempt to separate the man from the office he was here to represent. Yes, Trump has a personality that bumps around inside a triangle with three equilateral points – absurdity, dishonesty, and misogyny.
But most US presidents carry something of that kind of baggage. JFK was an outrageous sexual predator. Bill Clinton was nearly impeached because of his own carnal behaviour. Richard Nixon was lucky to escape prosecution and jail for his criminality. But the world – and we – had to deal with them, just as we have to deal with Trump.
As The Donald himself might say: that's politics, baby.
And like it or not, he WAS here as our guest. There's such a thing as good manners. We seem to have lost ours this week. A good job that didn't result in losing a record £150billion US investment package, eh? Now that WOULD have drawn a curse or two from me.
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Robert Redford's emergence as Hollywood's undisputed leading man in the early 1970s coincided with my becoming old enough to start asking girls out. But I swiftly learned to avoid taking them to see a Redford movie. They all, without exception, fell head over heels in love with him. It was hopeless.
All they could do on the way home afterwards was rave about Redford. They were far too preoccupied to even consider a goodnight kiss from me. But I understood, however reluctantly. Was there ever a better-looking actor than Redford (who died this week)? If ever a man could be legitimately described as beautiful, it was him.
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One of my favourite actresses, Olivia Colman, is impressively phlegmatic about the hazards of being left on the cutting room floor during the editing of movies she's been cast in. “You still get paid and no-one can say you were s**t,” she shrugs.
Character actor and raconteur Victor Spinetti was less philosophical when it happened to him after filming The Return of the Pink Panther in 1975. He'd shot about a dozen hilarious scenes with its star, Peter Sellers, and been assured by director Blake Edwards that their pairing was the comic highlight of the film.
But when Spinetti arrived at the international press preview in Gstaad, Switzerland, it was to be told he'd been cut almost entirely from the movie. Only one tiny fragment remained: the scene where Sellers (as Inspector Clouseau, speaking in that absurd French accent) asks Spinetti, playing a hotel check-in clerk: “Do you have a rhum?” Spinetti's character, baffled, replies: “A RHUM?”
That was it. Spinetti later ruefully recalled: At the press conference, I had all these film critics asking me sarcastically, ‘So, how did you build up to your part of a RHUM?’ It was awful!”