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With just eight weeks to go, Christmas is creeping up on us, and we're all starting to think about the gifts we can buy loved ones.
Enter Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, who this week unveiled the latest seasonal offerings from her As Ever brand. In between collecting humanitarian awards and attending fashion shows and baseball games, Meghan has found time to produce a collection of insanely overpriced gifts perfect for those with deep pockets.
In the same week that Prince Harry gave an interview talking about the evils of social media, his wife launched what she calls her 'Holiday collection' – via her Instagram account.
She informed her four million followers that the goodies are 'gifts for giving and gathering, thoughtfully curated to elevate every occasion'. She does love to elevate.
The launch goes hand-in-hand with the final instalment of her With Love, Meghan Netflix series – which will be a 'Holiday special'. Earlier this month she teased about what we can expect, promising: 'I do a lot of gift-wrapping techniques.'
How exciting! Should we also brace ourselves for dried flowers being sprinkled over Christmas turkeys and shiny ribbons being tied around tubes of Pringles?
In the meantime, those evil social media types Harry warned us about have spotted that Meghan's As Ever range bears more than a passing resemblance to another royal brand – Highgrove, owned by her father-in-law King Charles III.
Here we look at the uncanny similarities between some items included in His Majesty's Highgrove Christmas shop, where all profits go to charity, and Meghan's As Ever range, where all profits go … well, who knows?
HONEY
'Crafted with love and made to be shared', Meghan's honey is 'Californian harvested' and infused with sage.
This product holds a 'special place in Meghan's heart' apparently (don't they all) and can be used to dress a Christmas turkey or to 'elevate a humble parfait into an epicurean moment'.
Highgrove states theirs will add a 'regal touch' to any dish. At less than half the price of Meghan's, no wonder it's completely sold out.
FIZZ
You might need a code cracker on standby when it comes to deciphering the spiel that comes with Meghan's Vintage Napa Valley Brut. Buyers are told 'this curated blend of the finest varietals delights the palate'.
It's described as being 'ideal for celebrating an engagement, achievement or reunion'. It's also perfect for ruining by adding, as Meghan suggests, dollops of jam and marmalade.
Highgrove's Cuvee Champagne Blanc is sold in the same size bottle, with the same alcohol content but at a fraction of the price. Extra kudos, too, for it being created especially for Highgrove by famous French champagne house Laurent-Perrier, meaning – unlike As Ever – they can call it 'champagne'.
SCENTED CANDLE
Meghan has two candles in her Holiday collection, including Signature Candle 519 with notes of Moroccan Mint, white tea leaves and cardamom.
Apparently, it was inspired by one of her 'most cherished memories' – her 2018 wedding day. The same wedding she described to Oprah Winfrey as being a 'spectacle for the world' that she didn't really want.
The wedding was held at the historic St George's Chapel, Windsor, which she reportedly hated the smell of and wanted to disguise in clouds of Jo Malone.
The candle also evokes memories of the English countryside that she couldn't wait to leave behind for sunny California. The Highgrove Christmas candle, set in a glass container embossed with a crown, is scented with clementine and clove and costs half the price. But did the King grow the clementines himself and gather them barefoot in a wicker basket?
MULLED WINE
Mulled wine, a bit like Brussels sprouts, is one of those things nobody really enjoys but feels compelled to have at Christmas.
Meghan's kit is almost twice the price of Highgrove's, but it's also twice the size. Hers even comes with tips on how to enjoy your mulled wine.
You could sip it with popcorn on 'movie night' or during a 'chilly tree scouting adventure'. Personally, the Duchess likes to have hers 'in good company with the ones you love' (so none of Harry's family then).
The folks at Highgrove describe their product, presented in a muslin bag, as a 'heady mix of cinnamon, cloves, allspice and orange' and say it's a 'perfect way to warm up family gatherings'.
MARMALADE
King Charles, just like his late mother Queen Elizabeth, has a soft spot for marmalade.
The Highgrove jar's contents are 'gently cooked in copper kettles using an exclusive Highgrove recipe' and decorated with a specially commissioned 'wood-cut style illustration' that pays tribute to His Majesty's organic gardens.
Over in Montecito, Meghan's marmalade is a 'rendition of a teatime classic'. Teatime? Perhaps she doesn't eat breakfast.
She suggests having it on warm scones (yum) or stirring it into Greek yogurt (yuk). Both are made with organic ingredients, with Highgrove stating theirs contains 51g of fruit per 100g. No such detail from As Ever, although it does (unlike Highgrove) contain fruit pectin, a thickening agent.
WHITE WINE
Shoppers will need big budgets as they must buy a minimum of two bottles of Meghan's 12.5 per cent ABV Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc to qualify for shipping – unless they're one of the celebrities gifted a box in return for an Instagram plug.
There's no minimum purchase on the Highgrove Cotes du Rhone Blanc (13 per cent ABV) created by the Perrin Family, who also make wine for Miraval, Brad Pitt's vineyard. Obviously both can be elevated/ruined with flower sprinkles.
PEPPERMINT TEA
Meghan's organic tea, according to her website, is perfect for 'cosy nights by the fire' or to be 'shared with loved ones for a soothing end to an indulgent meal'.
Both come in a presentation tin and Meghan's features her signature swirly calligraphy.
Over at Highgrove the fancier looking tin is decorated with the Prince of Wales's heraldic badge feathers, and is described on its website as 'an elegant design featuring a combination of architectural and floral elements and topiary shapes that capture the elegance of the Highgrove gardens'.
RASPBERRY JAM
Meghan's fruit spread (legally she can't call it a 'jam' as it doesn't contain enough sugar) was one of As Ever's first products. She uploaded a video of herself on Instagram making it.
There she was, just being her authentic self, until some spoilsports pointed out she was holding the canning tongs, used to lift jars out of boiling pans, upside down. She suggests dribbling some spread into a glass of champagne for a 'playful take on a champagne cocktail'.
No such nonsense over at Highgrove where the only talk is of putting it in 'dainty sandwiches', using it on scones or to fill a Victoria sponge. Despite being nearly 100g bigger, Highgrove's still manages to come in cheaper than As Ever's.
FRUIT PRESERVE GIFT SET
Featuring her raspberry spread, marmalade and a brand-new strawberry one, Meghan has put her three products into what she calls a 'signature keepsake Holiday set'.
She suggests 'set a silver tray with flutes and all three spreads and invite guests to add a tiny trickle to a glass of bubbles'.
Only if you want to make sure they never visit you again. Ever. The Highgrove gift set features just two (larger) jars – strawberry and marmalade. It's made by hand using traditional recipes and presumably prepared by people who know which way up to hold canning tongs.