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Even before I knew anything about manifesting, I was aware that if you really focused on a specific dream you wanted to attract into your future, somehow things would work out and you would be very likely to get it.
However, it was only as I experimented in my own life that I began to see that something more was happening than just my working hard towards a goal.
Somehow, when I truly determined what I wanted, it was as if everything fell into place and I just seemed to attract good luck. I discovered that the power of manifesting and the law of attraction were at work in my life.
I've been writing about manifesting for more than 20 years. In that time, I've learned how to overcome barriers to success and make consistent manifesting easy.
Yesterday I showed you how to use your imagination to think about what you really want to change about your life – and what you don't. Then I explained how to go about creating your first wish, by visualising it in as much detail as possible, and then creating a mental film of it so that you could not just see it but really feel it, too.
Finally, I explained how to flood your subconscious with the feeling of living in your new life.
They are the first three of seven steps to successful manifesting. Today I will explain the next four, from how to deal with friends who don't like the fact that you are changing, all the way through to achieving your heart's desire.
STEP FOUR: NEVER FEAR, HELP IS HERE
You're now well on your way to manifesting. As you progress, mentors will help you develop, and friends will help you to overcome tests and challenges.
Take the 'Pygmalion effect' – or the idea that if someone we respect has high expectations of us, we'll perform better than if they have low expectations. Positive expectations are contagious, which is why a mentor can play a significant role in your manifesting success.
Meanwhile, as you go through your manifesting journey, little by little you're changing and becoming a more positive person. But not everyone you know will appreciate this. Let's be clear: the people who surround you will either support you in manifesting effectively or block your path.
You may have decided to give up your career and take whatever steps you can in search of another – with your big wish as the final goal. The right people will share your new values and applaud your successes along the way.
Many, however, are afraid of a friend who's changing. Some will be jealous, while others will try to keep you in a familiar pattern of living or thinking because that makes them feel safer.
There's only one, rather brutal, answer to this. If there are people who don't approve of the path you're taking, it's time to leave them behind and find a new tribe.
I remember once meeting a group of people who were all divorced and had 'problem' children. They all shared common views about marriage, which were negative. I realised straight away I had nothing in common with them and, sure enough, they fell out of my orbit.
If you look at the people around you, you'll intuitively sense that some are lighter than others. On an energetic level, this lightness can be called 'good vibrations'.
In your new world, mentors will help you develop and true friends will help overcome tests and challenges. And as you begin to attract new experiences and manifest different circumstances in your life, different people will come into your orbit. This begins to happen as you become more aligned with your authentic self.
You'll magnetise people towards you who have the same positive mindset. Trust me, this is a sign from the universe that you're on the right track…
STEP FIVE: BIN THOSE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Encountering obstacles is inevitable. Some are minor, others may seem insurmountable at first. Fortunately, no obstacle is meant to bring a full stop to your plans.
The only thing that can get in the way of successful manifesting is you. An obstacle is just a chance to dig deeper – to discover inner resilience, character and courage.
If fulfilling your wish seems impossible at this stage, you need to find a way of maintaining your faith – and that will transform you into an unstoppable force.
Let's take a closer look at the obstacles you may face. One example could be getting into unexpected debt as you work towards manifesting a large financial reward. Or say that you fall in love. You think this person is 'the one', and then the dynamics of the relationship change. You realise this new relationship is like all the others you've had – which is not what you wanted to manifest at all.
Or perhaps you wanted to manifest a beautiful home in the countryside where you could have peace and quiet. As you pick up the keys, the estate agent tells you about the new 100-home estate that's about to be built next door.
So what's going on?
When these negative factors get in the way of your positive wishes, you're being tested by the universe – whose energy is your co-creator in any manifestation. Why? To check if you're certain about what you want.
Your conscious mind may want the loving relationship or the beautiful countryside home, but your subconscious may not be so sure it's the best thing for you.
For manifesting to succeed, your subconscious must fully buy into your wish.
If you tend to home in on negative experiences and have anxiety about potential problems, it's likely you hold deep-seated beliefs that reinforce this perspective. These create a fixed mindset that can stop you from manifesting. Sometimes you may feel overwhelmed with negative emotions. There's a name for this: 'emotional hijacking'. It means that certain situations trigger negative emotions, which in turn can lead to emotional flooding. When you experience this, it's because the amygdala – the part of your brain that processes emotions – has taken control.
The amygdala is fast, so it can feel as if emotions are suddenly pouring in from nowhere. You feel stressed, out of control and derailed from your normal way of thinking.
In fact, what's happening is that your subconscious is revealing old patterns. A welter of emotions can be triggered when you encounter situations that remind you of something in the past, perhaps something you haven't dealt with properly.
These emotions are a clue to your true perspective on life. They signal that your mindset isn't yet flexible enough to cope with your changing reality.
Imagine this situation. Maisie wishes for a new life with a job promotion, so she creates a vivid picture in her head of herself in charge of her team.
But the emotion attached to the end picture isn't strong enough. She's always had a nagging belief that she isn't good enough to manage this level of responsibility.
Then she gets some critical feedback from her boss. Her subconscious registers the feedback as true because it tallies with Maisie's existing beliefs about herself.
Unfortunately, her subconscious blocks her from manifesting her wishes. Maisie doesn't see this, however; she simply sees evidence that her promotion will never take place.
There are ways to resolve this kind of block. Once you have identified your unconscious negative beliefs, you should ask yourself: what would I rather believe instead? Then visualise what your life could look like if you were empowered by new beliefs. Make yourself feel your wish coming true. If you can do this, the emotion attached to your manifestation can squash old negative beliefs.
Long-term, practising mindfulness or any kind of meditation will help you to control your emotional state better. It will also help you to have greater communication between your conscious, subconscious and higher selves.
Let's name all the negative 'low-vibration' emotions that can block you from manifesting.
- FEAR is a primal human emotion that evolved in order to protect us from danger, but it's also a powerful block to change. Don't let it become a reason to prevent you from fully experiencing life.
- HATE can come in two forms: hate for others and self-hate.
However, even when the emotion is projected towards a person or situation, the emotion remains in your body. Ultimately, the person who really suffers is you.
What's more, hate keeps you in a victim state, because it's triggered by the idea that someone or something else is responsible for bad things happening to you. This is a big block for manifesting.
- ANGER comes from the desire to punish others or yourself. When you're angry, your energy gets directed away from focusing on the light at the end of the path and towards side issues. This is a huge waste of your emotional energy.
The message of anger to the universe is, 'I am a victim', while the right manifesting message is, 'I can overcome any obstacle and carry on along the path'.
- JEALOUSY often masks other beliefs that cause deep blocks. Often there's the belief that you don't deserve what others have, or that you will always have to work harder than they do to achieve it. You need to conquer jealousy by telling yourself, 'I can have anything,' and 'I'm pleased when others get what they want.'
If the new thought doesn't quite feel right, adjust it until you find one that you believe and that helps you feel more capable. It should be both realistic and encouraging.
The more you practise choosing and reinforcing helpful thoughts, the more likely you are to create positive outcomes in your life.
You'll know you have complete emotional mastery of yourself when you can shift any negative emotions to positive 'high-vibration' emotions – like gratitude, joy and love.
These will attract better circumstances, people and synchronicities into your life.
The most powerful positive emotion of all, of course, is love. It creates what I call an abundance mentality, where anything is possible. It can overcome any obstacle.
Energy follows intention. So if you intend to fill yourself with love, love will fill you up. If you want to feel more loved, just intend to notice the love around you and magnetise it towards yourself.
Banish old disempowering thoughts by deliberately seeing in your mind's eye your body full of love channelled from the universe.
Try this visualisation: imagine love flowing into the top of your head as a white light, filling up every cell of your body.
Then see this light flowing out of your heart and filling up your room, reaching everyone you know, every situation in your life, and finally the whole world. You'll feel amazing after just a few minutes of doing this.
STEP SIX: MAKE THE APPROACH
You can see a light in the distance. Sometimes the path goes dark, but the light is still there.
Keep faith. Just take an action towards your manifestation, then take another, and another. Slowly but surely the actions you take will build the path between the wish you made and the fulfilment of that wish in the future.
What you can't do at this stage is just sit down and wait for your big reward to come to you. The universe helps you only when you also help yourself.
So take consistent steps towards what you want and you'll magnetise your wish towards you.
One step could be as simple as buying new clothes that represent your new life. Or saving money and asking the universe to double it. Or donating to charity, confident that the universe will always bring you more of what you need.
If you want to be a published novelist, sit down and write something – anything at all. Dreaming of your ideal home? Walk round the neighbourhood and look at the houses you desire.
Join new groups if you want to meet a new love. Intentionally clear out your closet to create room for your future partner's clothes. New habits create new neural pathways in the brain. They also create new positive thoughts and magnetise your wishes into reality. So just keep on the path and keep moving.
One of the least understood components of manifesting is the need to maintain a degree of detachment. Sounds counter- intuitive, doesn't it? How can you focus on what you want and yet remain detached? And why do you need to detach?
The answer is that trying to keep a 'death grip' on your wishes around how and when they will materialise doesn't work. It pushes them away. Wanting isn't the same as believing. And I can't emphasise that enough.
For example, it's impossible to know exactly when your wish will come true. If you cling too hard to the dates you've scripted into your future, revise them so you can put them to the back of your mind.
By letting go of urgency we reduce any unconscious resistance that may block us from being successful. Give space to manifests to come in their own way.
Sometimes, when I 'post' a wish to the universe, I think of the ideal timing and then I'll add a codicil. For example, I may say: 'I ask that this be realised in a way aligned with the highest good of all concerned,' and then I say, 'I ask that this be realised in a surprising way.'
That way, I won't be dismayed if my desired date comes and goes without a manifestation.
Anyone who's made a life-changing wish may get one final test from the universe. Here's how it works. You're excited. Some small things you want have begun manifesting. It looks as if the big thing you want is getting ready to appear in your life.
And then, bang: a final test gets in the way. It looks like game over – but is it?
This has happened to me. I've created a clear picture in my head of what I want. I've imagined what it will feel like when it manifests. I've taken action in the real world to help make it happen. But I'm blocked.
I have a decision to make: should I carry on or not? If I choose to carry on, I'm going to have to look deeply at why I'm manifesting these blocks.
This is a time of deep introspection, where resilience and courage are put to the test. It's when the 'old self ' must begin to fall away, making space for the emergence of a stronger, renewed self whose life will soon be transformed.
People often get confused just before the reward. They think: 'Things are the same as they've ever been. I knew the old me was the real me. I wished for a new identity but it's impossible. The real me will always be exposed.'
The mistake here is that there is no 'real you'. Instead, there are infinite versions of you that are possible at any juncture.
What you think of as the 'real you' right now is just one identity. 'Future you' is your choice.
Every action that you take now sends a message to your subconscious – and to the universe – that you're serious about what you want. It creates momentum and attracts opportunities.
At this stage, I recommend:
- Keep pointing your daily actions towards your manifesting goals.
- Develop a regular routine such as lighting a candle and meditating or practising gratitude for five minutes in the evening.
- Once a month, get rid of anything from your home that you instinctively feel is no longer 'you'.
- Think of a few small, random things you'd like to experience in the next few days, then let them go and see what the universe brings you. These rituals will reinforce your faith.
- Keep a 'future success' diary in which you imagine your wishes have come true. Revisit this journal regularly, adding in extra detail about how the last week of approaching the reward contributed to your success. This creates an abundant and positive mindset.
STEP SEVEN: NOW ENJOY THE REWARD
This is when your wish finally manifests in the external world. It's a wonderful moment, just as you envisioned.
What did you wish for? A home, new friends, a job, a relationship, a large cheque, your heart's desire?
Take a moment to acknowledge what an amazing thing you've achieved. You received this reward because you stuck to the path, even when you were tested on your willingness to change.
To enable the reward to come to you, you've undergone a personal transformation. You've become more positive, less fearful, more aware of the abundance of the universe. You've raised your vibration and opened your mind.
Your reward has proved to you that you really are capable of breaking free of self-imposed limitations, overcoming challenges and manifesting your desired outcome.
Has the wish you manifested made a material difference to your life, or do you wish you'd dreamed bigger? No problem – you can simply make a bigger wish now. Or perhaps you'd rather carpet the next path with smaller wishes that will fill your life with enjoyment.
So what will you wish for next? One wish opens the door to another wish, and another and another…
Adapted from Manifest The Life You Love, by Carolyn Boyes (HQ £12.99), to be published on December 4. © Carolyn Boyes 2025