From Trudeau to Carney: Canada’s Laughable Love Affair with Managed Decline!

In a twist that could only be scripted by a nation with a penchant for self-sabotage, Canada’s 2025 federal election has delivered a punchline so absurd it’s almost performance art. Mark Carney, the polished poster child of globalist agendas, has ascended to the prime ministerial throne, leading the Liberal Party to a fourth term of what can only be described as meticulously curated decline. Meanwhile, Pierre Poilievre, the Conservative firebrand who swore to torch the status quo, didn’t just lose the election—he lost his own seat in Carleton, a riding he’d held for nearly two decades. The irony is so thick you could spread it on toast. Canada, it seems, has doubled down on its love affair with managed decay, and the laughter from the global elite is deafening.

The Election: A Circus with 91 Clowns

Let’s start with the spectacle in Carleton, where Poilievre’s defeat was less a political event and more a circus act. The ballot featured 91 candidates, courtesy of the Longest Ballot Committee, a group that decided the best way to protest Canada’s electoral system was to turn it into a parody of itself. The result? A fractured vote that handed victory to Liberal newcomer Bruce Fanjoy, who cruised to 50.6% while Poilievre limped away with a measly 46.9%. It’s as if Carleton’s voters decided that if they couldn’t have reform, they’d settle for chaos—and a Liberal nobody to boot. 

Nationally, the Liberals secured 168 seats, just shy of a majority, while the Conservatives bagged 140, a respectable haul that still left them in second place. The NDP and Bloc Québécois were reduced to political footnotes, with seven and 22 seats respectively, and the Greens clung to a single seat like a life raft in a storm. Poilievre, ever the optimist, crowed about winning 41% of the popular vote—the highest Conservative share since 1988. But in Canada’s first-past-the-post system, moral victories are about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. The Conservatives, despite their gains, remain the eternal bridesmaids of Canadian politics, forever outmaneuvered by the Liberal machine.

Mark Carney: The Smirking Savior of Stagnation

Enter Mark Carney, the former Bank of England governor and Goldman Sachs alum who embodies the kind of technocratic sheen that makes Davos swoon. His victory in Nepean was less a triumph of charisma and more a coronation by default. Carney’s campaign leaned heavily on buzzwords like “resilience,” “inclusivity,” and “sustainable prosperity,” which sound inspiring until you realize they’re code for more of the same: skyrocketing debt, suffocating regulations, and a relentless push toward centralized control. His victory speech was a masterclass in neoliberal doublespeak, promising to “build Canada strong” while subtly signaling that the nation’s sovereignty is up for negotiation.

Carney’s rise is particularly galling when you consider the context. Just months ago, the Liberals were polling 20 points behind the Conservatives, with Justin Trudeau’s resignation in January 2025 marking the nadir of a decade-long Liberal reign that left Canada battered. Yet, like a phoenix with a penchant for bad decisions, the Liberals roared back, propelled by Carney’s carefully crafted image as the steady hand to navigate U.S. trade tensions and Donald Trump’s tariff threats. Canadians, it seems, looked at a decade of economic stagnation, cultural erosion, and policy missteps and said, “You know what? Let’s sign up for more.”

A Decade of Disasters: The Liberal Legacy

To understand the absurdity of Canada’s choice, let’s take a stroll through the statistical graveyard of the Liberal era. Over the past ten years, Canada has racked up a litany of failures that would make even the most optimistic patriot wince:

Economic Stagnation: Canada’s GDP per capita growth has been among the weakest in the OECD, averaging just 0.7% annually from 2015 to 2024, compared to 1.4% for the U.S. and 1.1% for the OECD average. Real wages have flatlined, with median household income barely budging after inflation, sitting at $81,200 in 2024 compared to $80,300 in 2015.

Housing Crisis: Home prices have soared by 68% since 2015, while housing starts have failed to keep pace with population growth. In 2024, Canada built just 240,000 new homes against a need for 315,000 annually to accommodate immigration-driven population increases. The average home price in Toronto hit $1.2 million, pricing out all but the ultra-wealthy.

Debt Explosion: The federal debt-to-GDP ratio climbed from 31% in 2015 to 48% by 2024, with the national debt ballooning to $1.4 trillion. Interest payments on that debt are projected to hit $54 billion annually by 2026, crowding out spending on healthcare and infrastructure.

Immigration Overload: Canada welcomed 1.2 million immigrants in 2023 and 2024 combined, but infrastructure and social services haven’t kept up. A 2024 Angus Reid poll found 62% of Canadians believe immigration levels are too high, up from 49% in 2019.

Crime Surge: Violent crime rates have risen 39% since 2015, with homicides up 43% and gang-related incidents spiking in major cities. Toronto’s homicide rate hit 3.5 per 100,000 in 2024, the highest in decades.

Healthcare Collapse: Wait times for non-emergency surgeries averaged 25.8 weeks in 2024, up from 18.3 weeks in 2015. A 2023 Fraser Institute study found 52% of Canadians reported difficulty accessing timely medical care.

And yet, faced with this laundry list of catastrophes, Canadians looked at Mark Carney—a man whose resume screams “more of the same”—and said, “Yes, please.” It’s like hiring the arsonist to rebuild the house he burned down.

The Poilievre Paradox: A Rebel Without a Seat

Pierre Poilievre’s downfall is the cherry on this comedic sundae. For years, he positioned himself as the antidote to Liberal malaise, railing against “woke” policies, bloated bureaucracies, and economic mismanagement. His “100 days of urgent action” promised tax cuts, deregulation, and a repeal of Bill C-69, the environmental law that’s been a lightning rod for resource sector complaints. But Poilievre’s brash, Trump-inspired rhetoric—complete with slogans like “Canada First”—backfired spectacularly. When Trump’s tariffs and “51st state” taunts dominated the campaign, voters decided Carney, the globalist with a hockey stick, was the safer bet to stand up to the U.S. president.

Poilievre’s loss in Carleton is particularly humiliating. After 21 years as MP, he was ousted by a political unknown who rode Carney’s coattails to victory. Social media erupted with glee, with posts on X calling it a “stunning upset” and mocking Poilievre’s failure to “prepare for his life’s work.” One user quipped, “Imagine spending two decades to become prime minister and losing to a guy named Bruce.” Poilievre’s concession speech was defiant, vowing to stay on as leader, but the optics are brutal: a man who couldn’t hold his own riding is now tasked with rebuilding a party that’s been outfoxed yet again.

The Globalist Giggles: Carney’s Masters Rejoice

If you listen closely, you can hear the champagne corks popping in Davos. Carney’s victory is a triumph for the globalist elite who see Canada as a petri dish for their grand experiments. The World Economic Forum, where Carney has been a fixture, must be thrilled to see their golden boy steering Canada toward the next phase of their agenda: central bank digital currencies (CBDCs), digital IDs, and a cultural landscape so sterilized it makes a hospital ward look vibrant.

The Bank of Canada has already been laying the groundwork for CBDCs, with pilot projects underway since 2023. A 2024 survey by the bank found 58% of Canadians are open to digital currencies, though 71% expressed concerns about privacy and government overreach. Digital IDs are also on the horizon, with the federal government’s “Digital Credential and Authentication Framework” slated for rollout by 2027. These initiatives, cloaked in promises of “convenience” and “security,” are the building blocks of a surveillance state where every transaction and movement is tracked.

And then there’s the cultural sterilization. Under Trudeau, Canada embraced policies that prioritized “equity” over merit, from gender quotas in corporate boardrooms to DEI mandates in public institutions. Carney, with his impeccable progressive credentials, is poised to double down. A 2024 Environics poll found 55% of Canadians feel the country’s cultural identity is being eroded by top-down policies, yet the Liberal base—concentrated in urban centers like Toronto, Vancouver, and Montreal—remains fiercely loyal to the gospel of inclusivity.

Canada’s Self-Sabotage: A National Pastime

What makes this election so deliciously absurd is Canada’s apparent addiction to its own demise. After a decade of Liberal misrule, voters had a chance to break the cycle. Instead, they chose Carney, a man who represents everything they claim to resent: unelected power, corporate cronyism, and a vision of Canada as a compliant cog in the global machine. It’s as if the nation collectively decided that the slow bleed of sovereignty, prosperity, and identity is just fine, as long as it’s wrapped in a soothing TED Talk.

The parallels to Trudeau are uncanny. Like his predecessor, Carney is a master of optics, projecting competence while delivering policies that erode the middle class. Trudeau’s carbon tax, which added $1,200 annually to the average household’s costs by 2024, is likely to stay under Carney, rebranded as a “climate resilience fee.” His promises to double homebuilding rates sound noble, but the Liberals’ track record—missing housing targets every year since 2017—suggests more hot air than hammers. And when it comes to standing up to Trump, Carney’s tough talk is undermined by his globalist roots; a man who’s spent his career cozying up to multinational corporations isn’t exactly Che Guevara.

The Future: More Laughs, Less Liberty

As Carney settles into 24 Sussex Drive, Canada braces for the next act in its tragicomedy. The Liberals’ minority government will likely rely on the NDP or Bloc Québécois for support, ensuring a steady diet of progressive policies that prioritize optics over outcomes. 

Expect more spending—Carney’s platform promised $62 billion in new commitments over four years—pushing the debt-to-GDP ratio closer to 50%. 

Expect more immigration, despite 68% of Canadians saying in a 2025 Leger poll that the system needs an overhaul. 

And expect more cultural mandates, as Carney’s “inclusivity” agenda further alienates the 60% of Canadians who, according to a 2024 Abacus Data poll, feel their values are under attack.

Poilievre, for his part, will lick his wounds and plot a comeback, but the Conservative Party’s structural weaknesses—its inability to break through in urban Ontario and Quebec—make a 2029 victory a long shot. The real winners are the unelected architects of Canada’s decline: the bankers, bureaucrats, and globalists who see the nation as a laboratory for their dystopian dreams. They’re laughing all the way to the bank—probably a digital one.

In the end, Canada’s 2025 election is a reminder that democracy, when stage-managed by elites, is just a choose-your-own-adventure story with one ending: decline. The voters picked Carney, but the joke’s on them. And somewhere, in a penthouse suite overlooking Lake Geneva, the globalist puppeteers are doubled over, cackling at the nation that keeps volunteering for its own funeral.